Day 18 was off to a great start: I decided to go to work. Not in an existential, "every thing is a choice" way, just in a "I need to go put out some fires so I guess I better get my ass out of bed" way. That might have been the last good choice I made.
WHAT WENT WELL:
... I ate and I didn't eat anything bad for me.
WHAT WASN'T SO HOT:
... Did you see the list? I mean it was like a blue-print of what NOT to do. No breakfast? I already know when I don't eat breakfast it slows my energy and metabolism for the whole day. NO gym? I already know that no exercise always leaves me feeling more sluggish and less motivated to eat well. No food at all until 3pm? I don't think I even need to explain that. A bowl of meat for dinner? Really??
What did I DO that was horrible? I didn't gorge on candy, I didn't get a Big Mac, I didn't eat 5000 calories. But I never do really. And when I do from time to time have a horribly, over-indulgent day, I balance it well with not doing it again for months. It's really about what I DIDN'T DO. And that is what it always comes down to.
I have days where I feel like I just don't have the energy ... or the drive ... or motivation ... nor do I really "care" about the goal ... so I just don't focus on it. But per my previous posts, and more than one of them, at that, I know that when I do better, I do better. I wish I didn't have those lulls. Or maybe I just wish that I understood what causes them. And I wish that I didn't need to get all the way thru them in order to recognize them.
I think I'm going to add to my focus for the last 12 days of this month and this challenge:
I didn't work out.
I didn't eat breakfast.
I skipped our all-staff meeting to work at my desk.
I ate lunch at 3pm.
I ate dinner at 8pm - and I ate a bowl of leftover meatloaf.
I ate TWO sugar-free jells for dessert.
WHAT WENT WELL:
... I ate and I didn't eat anything bad for me.
WHAT WASN'T SO HOT:
... Did you see the list? I mean it was like a blue-print of what NOT to do. No breakfast? I already know when I don't eat breakfast it slows my energy and metabolism for the whole day. NO gym? I already know that no exercise always leaves me feeling more sluggish and less motivated to eat well. No food at all until 3pm? I don't think I even need to explain that. A bowl of meat for dinner? Really??
^^^Right here ^^^is my struggle.
What did I DO that was horrible? I didn't gorge on candy, I didn't get a Big Mac, I didn't eat 5000 calories. But I never do really. And when I do from time to time have a horribly, over-indulgent day, I balance it well with not doing it again for months. It's really about what I DIDN'T DO. And that is what it always comes down to.
I have days where I feel like I just don't have the energy ... or the drive ... or motivation ... nor do I really "care" about the goal ... so I just don't focus on it. But per my previous posts, and more than one of them, at that, I know that when I do better, I do better. I wish I didn't have those lulls. Or maybe I just wish that I understood what causes them. And I wish that I didn't need to get all the way thru them in order to recognize them.
I think I'm going to add to my focus for the last 12 days of this month and this challenge:
- Pay attention to my self.
- Note when I'm unmotivated to "do better" so that I can refocus and DO BETTER.
- Commit to getting up and taking care of what I KNOW I need to even when I don't want to.
Short and to the point for today.
Mostly because I need to go DO BETTER. Right now.
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