I'm beginning to think that my level of motivation is directly related to my menstrual cycle.
This is right around the point in January's Challenge that I suddenly found my mojo. Now... maybe that coincidence is related to the length of time it takes me to get through my mental block, but wouldn't it be easier if I could just blame it on something I can't control? I'd much prefer to think I have to adjust for a cycle provided by Mother Nature than that I have some mental growth to accomplish.
Today is Day 9 of this Challenge and for the first 8 days I real had to force myself to do what I was supposed to be doing. Not in the same way I had to force myself to stick with eating low-carb when I was inexplicably craving sweets I've never cared about or when I was having dreams of buffets filled with bread, pasta and rice. Instead, I was having to force myself to find time to do a Challenge that I know I would love.
As I've realized that what I'm challenging each month isn't consistent, just as the actual challenge isn't the same. Not eating a food group because it's not good for me challenged my will power and my neuroses that make me want anything I am not supposed to have. Getting workouts in almost every day challenges my inability to make time for myself, something that I can find almost any excuse to not do.
If you were to ask me what I think of self-care, I would give you a very feel developed philosophy on the benefits of self-care on one's personal and professional life. I would be able to quickly make a lengthy list of suggested ways for one to practice self-care. I would tell you repeatedly until I was certain you believed the truth in "If you don't take care of yourself, you will not/cannot be good for anyone else." So why is that I do not practice what I preach??
Honestly, I don't implement the instructions or lessons of my own sermons almost ever. Self-care is no exception. I know that I need "Me Time" to recover. I need it to refresh, hit restart and be any good to my children, my staff, my friends. GAH! See? That right there is it. I just said "to be good to
As I've realized that what I'm challenging each month isn't consistent, just as the actual challenge isn't the same. Not eating a food group because it's not good for me challenged my will power and my neuroses that make me want anything I am not supposed to have. Getting workouts in almost every day challenges my inability to make time for myself, something that I can find almost any excuse to not do.
If you were to ask me what I think of self-care, I would give you a very feel developed philosophy on the benefits of self-care on one's personal and professional life. I would be able to quickly make a lengthy list of suggested ways for one to practice self-care. I would tell you repeatedly until I was certain you believed the truth in "If you don't take care of yourself, you will not/cannot be good for anyone else." So why is that I do not practice what I preach??
Honestly, I don't implement the instructions or lessons of my own sermons almost ever. Self-care is no exception. I know that I need "Me Time" to recover. I need it to refresh, hit restart and be any good to my children, my staff, my friends. GAH! See? That right there is it. I just said "to be good to
my CHILDREN
my STAFF
my FRIENDS."
Something significant missing from that list??? Yeah ... Uh ...
ME!!!
Um, Cat? This is Cat:
 |
| Remember Her??? |
So why am I concerned with being the best version of me I can be for everyone else, but don't think to be sure I'm at my best for myself? Why do I find time for toddler tumbling, music lessons for two kids, sports teams for two kids, etc., etc., etc., blahblahblah and yet find ZERO time for therapy (which I readily admit I need), the gym (which I repeatedly say I love), my own classes (like sewing which I've been wanting for months)???
I don't have an answer - outside of the obvious "This is what woman, especially mothers, do" - but I am now on a mission to find one. Suggestions from your brilliant minds? Suggestions of who else has a brilliant mind that can answer this? Or maybe more importantly, I should be searching for tips and skills so that I don't continue this behavior.
For the moment, and probably much of the rest of this month, I'm at least over the motivation hurdle. I got right up with my alarm this morning (yes, the one that harasses me at 4:30am) and was at the gm at 5am. I did an extra 10 minutes of cardio and devised a mental plan of which strength machines I'm going to begin incorporating this week. I discovered that it isn't music that keeps me going throughout the workout so much as comedy. Yesterday when I was way over the music in my playlists, I decided to try a movie streamed on Netflix on my phone. But I really didn't like anything in my queue for a workout and then ... BAM!!! ... Katt Williams Pimp Chronicles part 1. That got me right thru my entire workout without even realizing how long I'd been going. So today I decided I'd try it again. Thank you Katt Williams Pimpadelic for getting me thru today.
It wasn't even that I just flew through the workout and did an extra 10 minutes (mostly because I wasn't ready to stop laughing at him); it was also that I pushed myself harder In a normal 20 minute treadmill session I'll do hills or bump my speed to a run for 30 second intervals, usually hovering around 5.2. Today I ran for 1-1 1/2 minute intervals at 5.5, 5.8 and 6.1. I'm pretty sure it's because I didn't have a chance to be bored or think about how long I'd been running. Maybe I should take a step back briefly? I HATE running. It hurts my chest. And it's SO BORING. But it is a good cardio challenge because my body isn't used to it. And I'm not great at it because of how much I hate it.
Tonight I need to add some more hilarious stand-up shows to my queue so I can accidentally find myself running for half an hour at a 9.2.
Maybe a little ambitious, but you get the point.
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