#30: Bring on April!

March is Marching out. You better believe that I'm making a nice French press coffee with cream as soon as I wake my ass up in the morning. Hello APRIL!!!! I am planning on ringing you in as caffeinated as possible. Just because I can. 

Honestly, I'm going to just go ahead and give myself big ups for March. 31 days caffeine free. The withdrawal was horrible, but since then, it's been a breeze. I realize that I can manage just fine. Decaf tea and coffee exist, decaf soda exists if i have to have it. I like water. Seems totally manageable. But I don't have to, so I don't plan to. :)

Biggest lightbulb of the Challenge: I have noticed that there are many places one goes to eat where there are no uncaffeinated options, besides Sprite. And outside of cola, I am not a fan of soda. I don't like Sprite, 7-Up, Dr. Pepper, Crush, etc. I drink a nice Coke Zero or Pepsi Max when I'm craving it, but otherwise, I stay away. I don't drink juice or lemonade usually either. I couldn't have tea or sweet tea most places because it was made from black tea. So, most of the time it was me and water. And not that I mind water, I drink a lot of it, in fact. But I found it quite interesting that soda and caffeinated drinks were it in restaurants most of the time. DULY NOTED.

There really isn't much else to it. But, in an attempt to not go straight to caffeine overhaul again, I think when I do hit one of those spots, I'll be starting with half-caf drinks. 

So, March Challenge Grade: A

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So, now it's on to April. I'm cringing just at the writing of this, but my April Challenge:

I'm goingVEGETARIAN

In preparation I ate meat with every meal today. I even opted out of a non-meat sandwich that I really wanted because I knew that would be on the menu multiple times in the next month. It was not as good or satisfying as my usual meat-less sandwich from this particular place. I was just afraid that I'd be craving the pastrami in 3 days and be sorry I didn't have it when I could. 

Mistake #1.

I don't know why going vegetarian sounds so insurmountable to me - the precise reason I chose it. I grew up with a pescatarian father and a no-red-meat mother. I ate lots of vegetarian meals, usually only indulging on seafood or poultry. But I love a juicy steak, a thick burger, and pig. Pig is probably going to be the hardest thing for me - hot links, bacon, pulled pork. AGH!!! 

I'm very curious to see what impact it has on my energy, my weight, my bowels, my mood. Meat, for the most part, isn't a better protein for my body than peanut butter, tofu, eggs or cheese. In fact, in many forms, meat is wayWAYway worse. And I really like cheese, eggs, tofu and peanut butter. I'm actually excited in some ways for April because I know this will be hard for me and a true test of my will. And also because I know that it will force me to be creative about meals and to eat intentionally, much like in January when I cut out carbs. I was much more in tune with my intake that month and that was buch better for me. 

So, I'm going to start researching yummy vegetarian meals. I've already asked the Finance Director at work for some since he is a vegetarian. I've requested homemade peanut butter from my ex. And I've warned the kids. I know they won't likely give up meat totally, but they don't do much of the cooking, so unless they plan to cook meats to add to the meals, they will be going vegetarian for 30 days too. 

I'm guessing our household will be eating meals from other cultures quite often in April as many of the other countries eat significantly more creative and tasty vegetarian meals. CousCous, hummus, falafel, curry. I even saw a recipe for vegetarian paella - I might make that just for the challenge of it because I love paella and most of what I love about it is the mounds and mounds of meats. 

One of the recipes I need to dig out quickly - or get again - is my mom's tofu burgers. That is one of my favorite meals of all time, whether I'm eating meat or not. She cut tofu into square steaks about an inch thick and marinated them in a 5-mushroom marinade, if I'm correct. Grilled on a whole wheat bun with all the fixins you'd slap on a beef burger? AMAZING.

Blog-readers - please feel free to email me great recipes, post them in the comments here, send me links. 

#29: Uncaffeinated, Unmedicated and Dishonest. But not for long.

During my 7453rd meeting at a coffee shop this month, I decided I could indulge. I ordered a decaf latte and almost died over the flavor. It had been SOOOOO long. *sigh* But the next day I got the worst headache. I'm now beginning to wonder if it was decaf or not? Or maybe there is truth to the rumors I have heard that decaf is never truly 100% uncaffeinated. Either way, that was the end of that because whatever the reason, I shouldn't be having caffeine withdrawal. But, it did remind me that I can't wait to drink a vanilla latte from Starbuck or Coffee Bean. Can. Not. Wait. 

Otherwise, this week has been psychotically hectic and chaotic. Work has been out of control. I haven't had time once this week to actually finish everything I had to do. I even worked today, just to try to get ahead a little. I love being busy at work - definitely prefer it to being bored - but it's possible that I'm too busy. I know for some of you that will sound like someone else is writing this because I never say that, but seriously. 

I also suffered my way thru a four-day long headache that even my neurologist couldn't figure out. But he did decide - right after announcing that he's retiring from private practice in SIX WEEKS and taking a travelling job - to start me on a new preventative medication. According to him there are 15 different ones and I've been on 4 or 5 now, so hopefully that means we have an answer soon? Bad news was that I have to be on the medication for 6 weeks before it can technically be determined to be a "failed medication" so let's all pray that it works because another month and a half of this will kick my ass. 

But as far as the actual challenge of no caffeine goes, it's been a piece a cake. Once it wan't miserable, at least. Altho last night I really REALLY wanted a Coke. But it isn't that I need caffeine or am having any withdrawal or misery, it's just that I miss coffee and the occasional Cherry Coke Zero. So this is when I get to the part of the month where I'm just BORED! I can't wait until the month is over.

And when this month is over, I will be 25% of the way thru the entire year of Challenges. Go 'head!!!

Of course, that means I have to be ready for the next Challenge. I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm ready. I've already decided on the next Challenge and now it's just time to start researching resources so get thru. And I can definitely promise that the Challenge will challenge me for the whole month - and I may be more miserable than when I went carb-free. ACK! Only 6 days to go. 

So the big news - I got engaged. WHAT!!!! I know, I know. Actually, for anyone who knows me well, this is probably quite a shock on general principal, much less the specific circumstances. And I stupidly decided the way to let everyone know was to change my relationship status on Facebook and then announce it in a post. Why in God's name would I do it that way??  Well, we've been dating very quietly - wanting to keep it for ourselves and enjoy the relationship without having to answer questions to people about it all. But then when it was time to move to the next step, i was kind of in a hole. How do I tell people and then tell them it's The One? But we've talked more than once about how I don't have the "I-want-to-get-married-gene" so there was no surprise when I said, "What's the point of a long-engagement? If we are getting married, let's get married. I don't need any of the rest of it." So we decided to just get it done. We knew we wanted a small private ceremony anyway. So it's us and the kids. Period. 

But because I have been convinced by others that this is an opportunity for others to celebrate with us, we will have a party. Promise. Just not now. For now, it's just a chance for us to make it legal and then move on with our life together. 

Of course, I can't just do nothing for Saturday, so I'm getting the kids outfits tomorrow and I'll find mine too. And I have to find a bouquet - not because I care about having flowers there, but I want to have the dried ones for posterity. And our "honeymoon" is one night away from everyone in whatever hotel has the most expensive for no reason rooms here in town. :) That's what I'm talkin' about!!!!

So, next time we chat I'll be hours away from being married. Or as one of my friends calls it, "an honest woman." WEEEEEYYYUUURRRDDD!!!!

HAHAHAHA ... Shhhh ... Don't tell him!!!

#28: I'm Not Dead, Just Busy. Super, Super Busy.

Yesterday I was asked how my blog was going to which I replied "I haven't blogged for a week because I haven't had anything going on." First of all, that's a damn lie! I've had so much going on that there hasn't been a moment to spare. Secondly, I feel like nothing is going on because I'm not struggling. And as I'm typing I realize that is a really interesting perspective to have. Must delve deeper, I think.

The past week+ has been all over the place with so much going on that I'm sure the following list is incomplete: Celebrated The Princess' 8th birthday. Twice. Dealing with some health issues. Working like crazy. Getting pampered. Kids music lessons. Spring Break. Birthday party. Mall. Mall. Mall. (<-- I have teens!) SXSW. Work. New Staff. Grant writing. 

The win in all of this is that I am still caffeine-free. I'm not craving it, I don't miss it, I have no headaches, I'm not overly anxious. That, right there, is why I haven't blogged. This is supposed to be my outlet for the processes I have when going thru each Challenge and in this case, I'm good so I haven't felt compelled to write. But as I was told yesterday, I shouldn't feel I have to write only when things are a struggle/difficult. 

So I have kicked this caffeine thing. Now it's time to figure out what I want to do with my caffeine intake as of April 1. The thing is, this wasn't hard for me once I wasn't craving it anymore. Once I got thru the withdrawal symptoms fully and completely, that was that. I bought tea during the withdrawal because I needed a replacement to my morning drink. But I just don't love tea so now that I don't NEED it, I am not drinking it regularly either. Maybe three times a week when I'm need of some comfort and would normally go for a vanilla latte. 

My usual day included coffee to start my morning and often a soda in the afternoon. I know that once I can have caffeine again, the issue is going to be if I start, I will easily be back to the same amount of intake. I'm thinking I might substitute my morning coffee for decaf and try to substitue tea one morning each week. As for soda, I'd like to limit myself to 2-3/week. 

Side note: the lack of soda and coffee creamer has made a 5 pound difference in the last 15 days. That's a good thing, I guess. 

I realize that I have to have something else for the second half of this month, also, because this has gotten boring. It's disappointing to have to say no to a great cherry coke, but it isn't HARD. It's un-yummy to drink tea over my great lattes, but I'm not in PAIN.  So, yes, now I need to find something for the last 15 days of the month. ACK! All I can think of are things I want to do for a full-month. 

Suggestions welcome.  

#27: BlechBoringBlah

There is no way that God meant for us to drink tea. I do NOT believe it. Don't get me wrong - they smell aMAzing and I bought 4 new kinds yesterday so there would be plenty to select from each morning. But the don't taste good. At all. 


But I'm sticking to tea and water and staying away from coffee ... including decaf. So, yay. *eye roll*


Upside: It's day 6 and I'm thru the withdrawal. I have gone all day without needing a single Aleve or Vicodin. As bored as I am with the tea, I couldn't be more excited to be done with withdrawal. And I'm kind of proud of myself for sticking this out because all I've really wanted for the last week is a nice vanilla latte. 


I've noticed the affects of this new no-caffeine things include that I'm actually tired at night. Not that I can shut my mind off long enough to fall asleep. But it's nice to know that I can be tired. 


I have also noticed that no one has non caffeinated drinks in their stores/restaurants. Tonight when I was picking up dinner, they offered us a drink while we waited. I went over to the drink area and there was 1) coke, 2) diet coke, 3) barqs, 4) black tea, 5) green tea, and 6) dr. pepper. Oh, and Sprite. Which I hate. What do people drink if they don't ingest caffeine? Is this like the plight vegetarians have with finding non-meat dishes when they eat out? 


I guess  I will get it together so that I can get up in the morning and drink some (BlechBoringBlah) tea. Woot. 

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But the real point of today's post is that there are rumors flying around that JayZ and Eminem are planning a surprise performance at South by Southwest (SXSW). Uhhhh ... WHAT?!?!?! 


I 


WILL


BE


THERE!

#26: My Bad, Apparently I'm Irish

Holy Hell ... What day is it? Today is March 3, aka 3/3, aka the 3rd day of the 3rd Challenge and the 3rd month. This should probably be going somewhere, but it isn't. 


I'm pretty sure I'm almost thru this withdrawal. Altho today has been rough. I made it until about 5pm today without feeling the pain. But when the headache hit, I was totally unprepared. I wasn't at home, didn't have any pain killers with me and wasn't expecting it. The lack of headache had convinced me that I was as awesome at caffeine withdrawal as I am at everything else in my life and had mastered it in half the time that all the research said I would. But nope. I guess it just take longer to hit each day of the withdrawal. 

I have to admit that the pain made me weak. We were having dinner out and I asked the waitress to bring me a cup of half decaf, half regular coffee and I had 3 sips. I knew I wasn't supposed to have it, but I was pretty sure the chipper waitress wasn't going to make it to the end of our meal if I didn't have it. On my side was the fact that (A) the coffee sucked so I didn't want any more than I needed, and (B) I sent it away as soon as I'd had the four sips so I wouldn't be tempted. 


But really, in the past two days I've managed pretty well. The headache has been pretty well taken care of by Aleve and the occasional Vicodin. That's appropriate, right? I've replaced the coffee in the morning with tea so that I still have a drink each morning in my routine. So far, so good, but I'm going to have to find some other flavor before this month is over because it's not really cutting it. 

TEA ... yay.

What's really been impressive is that my children are clearly plotting against my progress without caffeine by scheduling their activities and social life in the worst possible way. Last night I had to pick up The Son, The Nephew and Bonus Son up at the movies at 12:08am. And then I had to be up at 5:30am to take The Nephew to his Track Meet. When I got home, The Toddler and The Princess thought it would be the best time to both arrive in my bed. But I'm no ordinary mother -- I just ignored them, rolled over and went back to sleep. 3 year olds make hot chocolate on gas stoves all the time, right? 


Seriously tho, the lack of caffeine really isn't the biggest issue. I love coffee and I appreciated the freedom to drink it as I pleased. I had also come to enjoy a good diet coke when I was eating out. But it's the coffee way more than the soda. I really used it for comfort too, especially when I was trying to be good about not using food for comfort. When I was stressed or sad or feeling anxious or emotional, a foamy vanilla latte was just the cure. Every time. 


It's also messing with my mental capabilities. I'm a little less sharp, more forgetful and all over the place. Is there a word for that? But I am also finding it really interesting that this Challenge is the one I've been most dedicated to. I'm really surprised to be finding that out. There were a lot of moments where I wanted some really carby-carbs in January and I knew if I cheated no one would really have to know if I didn't want to know. And I caved a time or two, even tho they weren't big. In February I was imperfect and inconsistent and then had to forgo the hard-core cardio altogether. It wasn't something I was happy to do, but it wasn't that hard for me either. But in every moment that I've wanted to cave and go straight to Starbucks or the soda machine, I've needed only myself. I haven't thought for more than half a second about heading for the IV-caffeine before the angel on the other shoulder reminded me how much getting thru this means. Proud of myself!!!

And it will only get easier. I'm planning on day five being a piece of cake and then it just being a matter of finding new ways to feed my emotions. Are there any vices that are beneficial?? Or would that be an oxymoron?


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I have a retraction, of sorts to make, before I sign off. I received an email tonight from my sweet Colorado Uncle with what he called a rebuttal to my last blog post where I said some un-nice things about Irish. The short version is that I'm part Irish. 


Whoops. 

This means I have to stop wearing shirts like this:

and start wearing one this this?

I knew my dad and his brothers were all given Irish names, some even got Irish middle names. I just thought my grandparents had a fetish. Now I've learned that my GreatGreatGreatGrandmother was 100% Irish. Her name was Catherine Woodward Moir/Keating and being her descendant makes me 3.125% Irish. And, according to my retired-teacher Uncle's math, my kids 1.56%. I'd like to take back the mean things I said about the Irish because I would never speak ill of my children. At least not where they could read it. Or where it's eternally cemented. Or for things they can't control - like being Irish. 


Poor things. 


I'm really going to have to come to grips with this Irish thing because I enjoy teasing some of my Irish friends relentlessly. I guess I'll mull it over over this pint of Guinness and a Jameson chaser.


Wait - does this mean I'm just being cultural if I start my morning with Baileys in my coffee. If I was allowed to drink coffee, of course?

SLAINTE!

(That's Gaelic for "CHEERS!")

#25: And the Banging Headache MARCHes In

Jeezus, HELLLLLLLOOO March. 

Usually March is great. Usually.

Usually it's the month of many great things. 

Unfortunately, it's also the month I have decided to torture myself by eliminating caffeine.

NORMAL MARCH:

The birth month of my oldest daughter!

The second greatest sports competition each year!

The only day the Irish can legitimately excuse their ridiculous drinking and belligerent behavior. 

Spring Break and sunny weather!

MARCH 2012

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

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So how has this year's formerly fantastic month of March gone so far? Not great, people. Not great. 


For starters, I woke up late this morning. 2 hours late, to be exact. With 30 minutes until we had to walk out the door to get the girls to school, there was exactly ZERO minutes left for the gym, bathing the kids, breakfast. My shower lasted 2 minutes, I'm pretty sure my outfit didn't match and my make up was CLEARLY done in a hurry. When I went downstairs to make the morning hot chocolates, steamed milk and coffees (Yeaaahhh, I heard how high-maintenance that sounded as I typed it), I got halfway into the coffee and realized - DAMNIT!!!! - I can't have coffee. 


Today of all days. This morning of all mornings. 


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


So, I made The Toddler's Hot Chocolate, which she calls a Mocha. I made The Princess' Steamed Milk, because she has been banned from high sugar levels. And I just stared at my poor, lonely coffee mug. 


I rushed the girls out of the house, Go Cups in their hands and shoes barely on their feet, and headed off to drop offs and to work. 


For the love of God, that was the longest drop off routine ever. It was 7:45am, an hour into my day, and I was already seeing how hard it was going to be to get thru it all uncaffeinated. But, wait, it gets worse: my morning meeting was at STARBUCKS. Are. You. Kidding. Me.


I've explained that I don't have many vices. I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. Well, I drink, but I probably average one drink a month. And by average, I mean that I drink 2-3 drinks every 2-3 months. But I drink coffee. I love it in the morning and I love it the exact way I make it with strong French-Roasted Costa Rica beans in a Press. But when I'm having a day where I'm really stressed or really anxious, I feed my need with a Vanilla Latte - full fat - 130 degrees. Always the same drink. So now, here I am, Day One of the March Challenge to go without caffeine and I'm sitting at effing Starbucks. 


Side Note: Is it a coincidence that today was the first time I noticed how annoyingly chipper their staff are? I really wanted to tell the flamboyant, happier-than-anyone-legally-should-be cashier to shove it when he asked for my order. But I guess it's not really his fault that today was March 1st, aka the 1st day of Hell month. It took me about 5 minutes to decide what drink I wanted. And I ended up with an incredibly underwhelming Vanilla-Something-Or-Other Tazo Tea. Thanks for nothing, Howard Schultz and Co. 

I had no idea that this would be this irritating this fast. I mean, for goodness sake, it was only 9am and I was contemplating how many ways I could ruin people who wronged me. Is it inappropriate to ram the back of a car because I don't like its bumper sticker? Is it excessive that I wanted to run down the guy who thought to pair a neon orange shirt and turquoise cargo shorts? And what about all the torturous things I considered doing to the woman who answered the phone at New York Life like today was the best day God had ever granted her? I know I'm not the most Polyanna-like person to start, but I'm usually much more tolerant. 


God help these poor people who are going to deal with me over the next few days of withdrawal.


I did make it thru the meeting and manage to be quite productive. 
I had multiple pleasant conversations with my staff and coworkers. 
I even smiled at strangers.


But then, at the end of the afternoon, my head began to pound. Not in the way your head hurts right after you've heard music too loud. More in the way your head hurts after the UT Marching Band finishes playing its Fight Song INSIDE your head. Holy Hell. So, there I am at 4:45, on the way to an appointment with my 14-year-old, and I can barely think clearly from the pain. I've already downed all the Aleve and Ibuprofin medically advisable. And the Vicodin chaser wasn't helping either. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf across from his appointment was too much for me to handle. I succumbed to the pain and ordered coffee. 


I should get some credit tho - I normally order a triple and I ordered a half-decaf-double (for those who aren't math-adept, that's a single shot). I'm just gonna go ahead and admit that the euphoria I felt after the first sip only fully highlighted how horrible this addiction is. PRE-COFFEE: I swear I felt like my head was going to implode. POST-COFFEE: Relief. Happiness. Heaven. 


So, maybe not perfect, but not too bad, I don't think. And hopefully tomorrow I won't need any at all. 


But the truth is, all I'm really doing is counting down the days until April when I can get right back on the coffee-horse and what methods will get it in my system the fastest. 

 ::ANSWERS::

and

*SIGH*