Something I have realized this week is that while I'm doing 30-day Challenges that are often really stretching of me, the overall process of this has me really thinking about myself, even when completely unrelated to whatever current Challenge I'm doing.
On Friday, I found myself having a conversation I had never had with another person. But, a conversation I've often had with myself. The ability to have the conversation came, in part, because of the growth this process has brought me. I realized in the conversation that I need to focus myself on something completely different than my current Challenge, and yet, the "No-Spending" is probably the most difficult for me mentally and lifestyle-wise, so I really don't want to change it. The other thing I'm understanding is that the issues I have that make not spending so difficult, are also pushing me in other areas of my life.
Not spending money isn't just about saving my "money-dollars" as The Toddler would call it. It's about when I spend money, and why. It's about being lazy, lacking will-power, driven by instant-gratification, "feeding" my emotions, finding ways to fill voids.
So, since my last post 3 days ago, I've made it thru a Thursday, a Friday and a Saturday. This may not seem significant to everyone, but let me be clear: my family structure includes spending weekend doing things. This could be eating out, going to the movies, shopping, doing activities, driving somewhere unexpected. This was going to be difficult if we can't spend money. One of the things I'm really looking forward to, is calculating what I spent this month on eating out, extras, nothings, miscellaneous, entertainment, fun and comparing it to what I spent on average from January - April on each of those. I guarantee it looked nothing like this:
Thursday
1. That night we hung out, spent time together as a family just relaxing. Cost: $0;
2. To eat, we made dinner at home. Cost: $0.
Friday
1. In the morning had to pay for parking , but it was necessary. Cost: $1;
2. That evening, The Boy and I went to eat sushi. Cost $0 - (on him);
3. Went to see Kevin Hart (with tickets bought months ago). Cost: $8 - parking.
4. Late night drunken pancakes at IHOP. Cost: $0 - (on him, again).
**So, it cost me the $8 to park at the event, but I considered that both a necessity and the least expensive way to get there. Parking somewhere cheaper or free would then have included a cab which would have been well over the $8.
Saturday
1. Volunteering as a family in a community garden for a local church. Cost: $0;
2. Getting new tires on both cars. Cost: $LOTS, but still, a necessity;
3. Two-hour session at JumpStreet (trampoline playhouse). Cost: $0 - used a Groupon;
4. Frozen yogurt. Cost: $0 - used two Groupons;
5. Gorgeous scenic drive back home. Cost $0;
6. Watching my stepmom perform. Cost: $0 - with comped tickets;
7. Family TV. Cost: $0.
Sunday
1. Breakfast at home. Cost: $0;
2. Hanging out doing arts & crafts. Cost: $0 - used items we already have.
But, next up is meeting The Bestie half way between our homes (me in Austin, she in Dallas). Sadly, there is little to do in the Blast-of-a-Town of Waco, Texas without spending money. We don't live there so we can hang out outdoors only for a period of time before we have to eat. Or go in from the Thunderstorms. Or not be sitting on a bench at a park like we are homeless nomads. So, I am going to have to determine what I find to be a necessity and what is a splurge. I'm prepared to pay to eat, but I'm not sure I can consider alcohol a "need." I'm prepared to pay to eat, but I'm not sure I can consider some fancy 5-star spot a "need." I'm prepared to have to spend some money, but I'm not sure I can consider a mani-pedi a "need."
I need to get ready to head out, so, like I said, this should be interesting.
On Friday, I found myself having a conversation I had never had with another person. But, a conversation I've often had with myself. The ability to have the conversation came, in part, because of the growth this process has brought me. I realized in the conversation that I need to focus myself on something completely different than my current Challenge, and yet, the "No-Spending" is probably the most difficult for me mentally and lifestyle-wise, so I really don't want to change it. The other thing I'm understanding is that the issues I have that make not spending so difficult, are also pushing me in other areas of my life.
Not spending money isn't just about saving my "money-dollars" as The Toddler would call it. It's about when I spend money, and why. It's about being lazy, lacking will-power, driven by instant-gratification, "feeding" my emotions, finding ways to fill voids.
So, since my last post 3 days ago, I've made it thru a Thursday, a Friday and a Saturday. This may not seem significant to everyone, but let me be clear: my family structure includes spending weekend doing things. This could be eating out, going to the movies, shopping, doing activities, driving somewhere unexpected. This was going to be difficult if we can't spend money. One of the things I'm really looking forward to, is calculating what I spent this month on eating out, extras, nothings, miscellaneous, entertainment, fun and comparing it to what I spent on average from January - April on each of those. I guarantee it looked nothing like this:
Thursday
1. That night we hung out, spent time together as a family just relaxing. Cost: $0;
2. To eat, we made dinner at home. Cost: $0.
Friday
1. In the morning had to pay for parking , but it was necessary. Cost: $1;
2. That evening, The Boy and I went to eat sushi. Cost $0 - (on him);
3. Went to see Kevin Hart (with tickets bought months ago). Cost: $8 - parking.
4. Late night drunken pancakes at IHOP. Cost: $0 - (on him, again).
**So, it cost me the $8 to park at the event, but I considered that both a necessity and the least expensive way to get there. Parking somewhere cheaper or free would then have included a cab which would have been well over the $8.
Saturday
1. Volunteering as a family in a community garden for a local church. Cost: $0;
2. Getting new tires on both cars. Cost: $LOTS, but still, a necessity;
3. Two-hour session at JumpStreet (trampoline playhouse). Cost: $0 - used a Groupon;
4. Frozen yogurt. Cost: $0 - used two Groupons;
5. Gorgeous scenic drive back home. Cost $0;
6. Watching my stepmom perform. Cost: $0 - with comped tickets;
7. Family TV. Cost: $0.
Sunday
1. Breakfast at home. Cost: $0;
2. Hanging out doing arts & crafts. Cost: $0 - used items we already have.
But, next up is meeting The Bestie half way between our homes (me in Austin, she in Dallas). Sadly, there is little to do in the Blast-of-a-Town of Waco, Texas without spending money. We don't live there so we can hang out outdoors only for a period of time before we have to eat. Or go in from the Thunderstorms. Or not be sitting on a bench at a park like we are homeless nomads. So, I am going to have to determine what I find to be a necessity and what is a splurge. I'm prepared to pay to eat, but I'm not sure I can consider alcohol a "need." I'm prepared to pay to eat, but I'm not sure I can consider some fancy 5-star spot a "need." I'm prepared to have to spend some money, but I'm not sure I can consider a mani-pedi a "need."
I need to get ready to head out, so, like I said, this should be interesting.
Dollar MacHamburgers are a NEED!!
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