#38: This Should Be Interesting

Something I have realized this week is that while I'm doing 30-day Challenges that are often really stretching of me, the overall process of this has me really thinking about myself, even when completely unrelated to whatever current Challenge I'm doing.  


On Friday, I found myself having a conversation I had never had with another person. But, a conversation I've often had with myself. The ability to have the conversation came, in part, because of the growth this process has brought me. I realized in the conversation that I need to focus myself on something completely different than my current Challenge, and yet, the "No-Spending" is probably the most difficult for me mentally and lifestyle-wise, so I really don't want to change it. The other thing I'm understanding is that the issues I have that make not spending so difficult, are also pushing me in other areas of my life. 


Not spending money isn't just about saving my "money-dollars" as The Toddler would call it. It's about when I spend money, and why. It's about being lazy, lacking will-power, driven by instant-gratification, "feeding" my emotions, finding ways to fill voids. 


So, since my last post 3 days ago, I've made it thru a Thursday, a Friday and a Saturday. This may not seem significant to everyone, but let me be clear: my family structure includes spending weekend doing things. This could be eating out, going to the movies, shopping, doing activities, driving somewhere unexpected. This was going to be difficult if we can't spend money. One of the things I'm really looking forward to, is calculating what I spent this month on eating out, extras, nothings, miscellaneous, entertainment, fun and comparing it to what I spent on average from January - April on each of those. I guarantee it looked nothing like this:


Thursday 
1. That night we hung out, spent time together as a family just relaxing. Cost: $0;
2. To eat, we made dinner at home. Cost: $0.


Friday 
1. In the morning had to pay for parking , but it was necessary. Cost: $1;
2. That evening, The Boy and I went to eat sushi. Cost $0 - (on him);
3. Went to see Kevin Hart (with tickets bought months ago). Cost: $8 - parking.
4. Late night drunken pancakes at IHOP. Cost: $0 - (on him, again). 
**So, it cost me the $8 to park at the event, but I considered that both a necessity and the least expensive way to get there. Parking somewhere cheaper or free would then have included a cab which would have been well over the $8. 


Saturday
1. Volunteering as a family in a community garden for a local church. Cost: $0;
2. Getting new tires on both cars. Cost: $LOTS, but still, a necessity;
3. Two-hour session at JumpStreet (trampoline playhouse). Cost: $0 - used a Groupon;
4. Frozen yogurt. Cost: $0 - used two Groupons;
5. Gorgeous scenic drive back home. Cost $0;
6. Watching my stepmom perform. Cost: $0 - with comped tickets;
7. Family TV. Cost: $0.


Sunday
1. Breakfast at home. Cost: $0;
2. Hanging out doing arts & crafts. Cost: $0 - used items we already have. 


But, next up is meeting The Bestie half way between our homes (me in Austin, she in Dallas). Sadly, there is little to do in the Blast-of-a-Town of Waco, Texas without spending money. We don't live there so we can hang out outdoors only for a period of time before we have to eat. Or go in from the Thunderstorms. Or not be sitting on a bench at a park like we are homeless nomads. So, I am going to have to determine what I find to be a necessity and what is a splurge. I'm prepared to pay to eat, but I'm not sure I can consider alcohol a "need." I'm prepared to pay to eat, but I'm not sure I can consider some fancy 5-star spot a "need." I'm prepared to have to spend some money, but I'm not sure I can consider a mani-pedi a "need."


I need to get ready to head out, so, like I said, this should be interesting. 

#15: Healthy Eating is a Thing of the Past ... Almost

Only 2 days to go!!!

I've actually been having some internal pain since Thursday night so I've been inactive, bored, feeling cooped up, etc. My reaction to that has NOT been, as I would have suspected, to eat myself out of house and home for lack of anything more entertaining to do. Part of that may be that it was my oldest's birthday on Friday which meant 8- 14 years olds going to see the Harlem Globetrotters (which they loved) and then to Underworld Awakening (which they also loved) but which required me to be up and at em and out and about. And therefore, in pain. 

I did try to stay laid up as much as possible yesterday but at some point I was so over being immobile and in one place that I thought I was going to pull my hair out. So how did I entertain my need to do something? Go get take out. We went to a local BBQ joint and I decided that because I was only 3 days from the end of this no-carb thing, and because I was so annoyed with being cooped up, that I was going to try some carbs and see if I could manage myself. I ordered catfish with hush puppies and cole slaw. It was good, but not amazing. Not worth the carbs, honestly. And I did NOT feel good afterwards. I will have to see how I manage re-introducing carbs to my body because if this was any indication, I won't be going very close to them very often. 

Altho, to be fair, it was corn meal on the catfish and corn meal in the hush puppies. Corn meal isn't exactly high on the good-for-me carb list. If nothing else, maybe this is an indication that I won't be going very close to crap-carbs since they make me feel like ... well, crap. (Hence the cleverly titled type of carbs.)

But I took to heart the way I felt yesterday after eating that and decided I'd make a better-for-me, low-carb breakfast of jalapeño beef sausage, eggs and cheddar cheese scramble. And I got the meat out for dinner - pork spare ribs with a Memphis rub on them. YES!!! Who cares what we're having with them, really. 

And after this, only two more days. 6 more meals. Not that I'm planning to take a biscuit-filled bath on Wednesday morning or anything, but you know ... just being told that I can't have something really makes me want the hell out of it!! I should probably tell myself I can't have a cute body, a successful career and a fat bank account and - POOF! - I'd be that banging body, high roller, Boss Lady. 

So thinking about Wednesday and the new challenge, I'm realizing that if I don't get this pain figured out, I'm gonna fail on DAY ONE. So, on tomorrow's agenda is the doctor. My friends will be so proud - I hateHATEhate going to the doctor. They either tell me that they have no idea what the problem is, or they  tell me I have some thing that's uncommon and I just have to live with it. 

Tomorrow is also a lot of evening errands and activities with Miss Maya, The Princess, and Sir Antonio, The Dog which means I have to plan ahead on food or I will end up eating some drive-thru concoction that makes me feel horribly afterward. See? I'm learning. 

Oh, and Tuesday is The Toddler/The Queen of it All's 3rd birthday. And The Nephew's basketball game. So, again, planning ahead will be really important. And then, YES!, it will be Wednesday. And not that planning ahead and thinking about what's going in my body won't be important, but it won't be something I will feel total guilt over because of the Challenge.