#20: Does Katt Williams Motivate YOU Too???

I'm beginning to think that my level of motivation is directly related to my menstrual cycle.

This is right around the point in January's Challenge that I suddenly found my mojo. Now... maybe that coincidence is related to the length of time it takes me to get through my mental block, but wouldn't it be easier if I could just blame it on something I can't control? I'd much prefer to think I have to adjust for a cycle provided by Mother Nature than that I have some mental growth to accomplish.

Today is Day 9 of this Challenge and for the first 8 days I real had to force myself to do what I was supposed to be doing. Not in the same way I had to force myself to stick with eating low-carb when I was inexplicably craving sweets I've never cared about or when I was having dreams of buffets filled with bread, pasta and rice. Instead, I was having to force myself to find time to do a Challenge that I know I would love.

As I've realized that what I'm challenging each month isn't consistent, just as the actual challenge isn't the same. Not eating a food group because it's not good for me challenged my will power and my neuroses that make me want anything I am not supposed to have. Getting workouts in almost every day challenges my inability to make time for myself, something that I can find almost any excuse to not do.

If you were to ask me what I think of self-care, I would give you a very feel developed philosophy on the benefits of self-care on one's personal and professional life. I would be able to quickly make a lengthy list of suggested ways for one to practice self-care. I would tell you repeatedly until I was certain you believed the truth in "If you don't take care of yourself, you will not/cannot be good for anyone else." So why is that I do not practice what I preach??

Honestly, I don't implement the instructions or lessons of my own sermons almost ever. Self-care is no exception. I know that I need "Me Time" to recover. I need it to refresh, hit restart and be any good to my children, my staff, my friends. GAH! See? That right there is it. I just said "to be good to

my CHILDREN

my STAFF

my FRIENDS."

Something significant missing from that list??? Yeah ... Uh ...

ME!!!

Um, Cat? This is Cat:

Remember Her???

So why am I concerned with being the best version of me I can be for everyone else, but don't think to be sure I'm at my best for myself? Why do I find time for toddler tumbling, music lessons for two kids, sports teams for two kids, etc., etc., etc., blahblahblah and yet find ZERO time for therapy (which I readily admit I need), the gym (which I repeatedly say I love), my own classes (like sewing which I've been wanting for months)??? 

I don't have an answer - outside of the obvious "This is what woman, especially mothers, do" - but I am now on a mission to find one. Suggestions from your brilliant minds? Suggestions of who else has a brilliant mind that can answer this? Or maybe more importantly, I should be searching for tips and skills so that I don't continue this behavior. 

For the moment, and probably much of the rest of this month, I'm at least over the motivation hurdle. I got right up with my alarm this morning (yes, the one that harasses me at 4:30am) and was at the gm at 5am. I did an extra 10 minutes of cardio and devised a mental plan of which strength machines I'm going to begin incorporating this week. I discovered that it isn't music that keeps me going throughout the workout so much as comedy. Yesterday when I was way over the music in my playlists, I decided to try a movie streamed on Netflix on my phone. But I really didn't like anything in my queue for a workout and then ... BAM!!! ... Katt Williams Pimp Chronicles part 1. That got me right thru my entire workout without even realizing how long I'd been going. So today I decided I'd try it again. Thank you Katt Williams Pimpadelic for getting me thru today. 

It wasn't even that I just flew through the workout and did an extra 10 minutes (mostly because I wasn't ready to stop laughing at him); it was also that I pushed myself harder In a normal 20 minute treadmill session I'll do hills or bump my speed to a run for 30 second intervals, usually hovering around 5.2. Today I ran for 1-1 1/2 minute intervals at 5.5, 5.8 and 6.1. I'm pretty sure it's because I didn't have a chance to be bored or think about how long I'd been running.  Maybe I should take a step back briefly? I HATE running. It hurts my chest. And it's SO BORING. But it is a good cardio challenge because my body isn't used to it. And I'm not great at it because of how much I hate it.

Tonight I need to add some more hilarious stand-up shows to my queue so I can accidentally find myself running for half an hour at a 9.2. 

Maybe a little ambitious, but you get the point. 

#19: Blogging is the "write" medicine.

I am feeling super uncreative. I'm not finding this challenge challenging physically or mentally, but I'm finding it challenging to make time to go to the gym. And I decided on exercise just as Mother Nature decided to give Texas a "winter," so I really can't hang with outdoor exercise right now. But the lack of creativity probably comes from the fact that this challenge doesn't lend itself obviously to creativity the way eating did. And probably the way next month's challenge will. And not having to force some creativity out of my mind in order to meet my challenge goals seems to be seeping into the rest of me.

Let's face it, for anyone who knows me, I am not the most creative soul. I don't craft well, I don't draw well, I'm not significantly free-flowing creative in nature. I can write, I can play music, but I can't necessarily be creative with it. Or I can in my mind (like when I imagine such better designs for clothes than what I find in stores), but I lack the talent to make it come out on the page. So I am hoping to find some level of creativity in this challenge in order to get my general juices flowing again.

So, this challenge ... today I got up and headed to the gym. It's really nice to workout at 4:45 or 5:30am when the place isn't packed. It's certainly more so at 5:30 or when I leave on those days at 6:15, than it is at 4:45am, but it's nothing like 4:45 and 5:30pm. I don't understand how people workout at the end of their day, for starters, but I also don't understand how people can stand going to a packed gym where you wait for equipment, wait for machines. Waiting is not cardio exercise at all.

I am enjoying making myself break a sweat on a regular basis tho and I'm hoping this habit sticks.

So, so far, I've been in the gym for cardio and done some morning walking of the dog, plus one day of at home workout. I'm planning to add strength in this week - so pumped, so to speak - but I had to get my stamina back in place first. Looking forward to sets - and I'm thinking that I may do sets of upper one day and lower another instead of what I used to do which was top to bottom. I say that because I really enjoy the cardio and if I do full-body strength on any day except Saturday, I won't have the time for cardio.

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I am also finding that the lack of creativity in this challenge is causing a lack of blogging, something I recognized this morning and have vowed to change. Not because I think you are all out there begging for more, but because I know that the writing process is so good for my mind. Writing has always been good therapy for my heart and soul and whatever form it comes in WRITE now is alWRITE with me. Hahaha ... man, I'm glad I entertain myself.

I think because I don't have to push myself hard enough to workout in general, i think this isn't pushing me. But I do have to push myself to get out of bed early-ass in the morning. And push myself not to come up with 87 excuses or press the snooze button 22 times. And push myself to find the time even when I don't have it. I think as I'm going through the last 21 days of this challenge (Man, that flew by FAST!), I need to focus on the pushes that are coming from this versus get stuck in the pushes that were in the January Challenge. Every challenge isn't going to push the same buttons or fears or challenge me in the same ways. I have to really wipe the slate clean at the end of each month and let myself freely experience each new challenge for what it holds.

That's some great motivation right there! Now I'm geeked up about this.

(See? That's why I need to write!)